Painstakingly Kayaking

IMG_1224, originally uploaded by thesesoreribs.

So i finally got to go Kayaking.

Yes, i will never again wonder what those colorful little dots on the river are experiencing.
I have undergone the wakes from bigger boats on a busy Saturday afternoon, i have the sore arms, the burnt nose, and the pictures to prove it.

It had started off great. We even got there early! (not usually the case when you're with me)
My fears of flipping the plastic thing over subsided when i was told "It was all in the hips".
I thought "pssh. i got this". They even did a little hip-test before letting you go in the water.
How cute. I obviously passed this with flying colors.

Up to this point i was golden. I had listened and participated in all our little pre-kayak exercises.

The problem didn't become clear until we actually started going places (in a 3 hour!!! architecture kayak tour)
I paddled and paddled but somehow always ended up in last place with the 60-something year old wearing black business suit pants and a baby-pink long sleeve shirt.Whatever. I wasn't going to judge.
Maybe she liked her business casual attire a bit too much, maybe she had a meeting after this shindig, maybe she had a sun skin allergy. Poor thing.

Thoughts of my paddle being broken in some obscure way repeatedly came to mind.
I was following the rules! I had paid attention! Why was i not moving?
So.
Genius little me, started doing exactly what they told us NOT to do.I started canoe rowing right then and there! (digging your paddle instead of effortlessly doing outward strokes)

By the time we got downtown, wannabe Jersey Shore boats wouldn't stop creating a whole lot of beeping and bopping and bobbing and weaving for our little kayaks, ultimately bringing my arms to total exhaustion.

It went from a fun must-do experience to "I wanna get the hell OFF! Maybe if i get next to that wall I can climb out this thing and walk the rest."
At times i would concentrate so much in my paddling and getting somewhere, huge buoys would appear in my way.
I ultimately accepted an offer to be towed from one of the tour guides who had to stay with the last person as a safety precaution. The shame of being towed quickly wore off when i realized i was actually moving and not doing a thing. At times i would pretend  i was still rowing by splashing water with my paddles. Awful i know.
(But then i would feel bad and not have him tow me at all. So there. )
The affirmation that this was indeed a smart, but lazy move came when we pulled to the side of the dock and the girl next to me tiredly exhaled "ugh. that is such a good idea".
Yes it was. Yessss it was.